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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25522897">confidence in my convictions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfbyers/pseuds/milfbyers'>milfbyers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Affairs, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:20:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25522897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfbyers/pseuds/milfbyers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>joyce byers confronts karen wheeler about the absence of support at will's funeral.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joyce Byers/Karen Wheeler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>confidence in my convictions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>* brief mentions of eating disorder. nothing is said explicitly and it's only two sentences but still if that is triggering, please don't read.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>joyce told herself she was going to be well behaved. she tried to convince herself the anger behind the white knuckles clutching the steering wheel was going to be under control once she arrived at the house on the end of the cul de sac. she tried to tell herself when taking the last turn at the stop sign that the cursing under her breath wasn’t going to make an appearance in conversation. she parked on the street and killed the engine. joyce’s body gave into the exhaustion as she leaned back against her seat. ‘was this really worth it?’ her thoughts echoed when she slammed the car door and made her way to the porch. she was about to find out.</p><p>the door opened before she had planned what she really wanted to say. joyce took in a breath. “do you… have a second to talk, karen?” her words were sharp and she watched karen’s walls go up as soon as she heard joyce’s voice. karen nodded as if she already knew why joyce had come. they were always in sync, even now. “c’mon, we can talk in ted’s office”. joyce flinched at softness of karen’s tone and she chewed on the inside of her lip. she was led down the hallway, stepping further into the house than she ever had.</p><p>joyce’s presence in the house began and ended on the front porch when she dropped off will for a sleepover. never had she ever taken in the details of the wheeler home. she viewed the expensive ones with jealousy, an emotion she had associated heavily with karen dawson for years. and the ones that screamed ‘karen’ instead of ‘karen and ted’ with empathy. joyce’s heart ached for what could’ve been for them. if they had left hawkins for the city, for the bustle of strangers that didn’t care if karen kissed her in bars or held her hand at dinner. how joyce ached for karen’s mouth against hers, her hands up her shirt-</p><p>“how have the boys been?” karen’s voice brought joyce back to hawkins in december of 1983 instead of august of 1964. joyce’s anger came rushing back to her and she felt it burn right down to her fingertips. “fine, karen. thanks.” she dug in her coat pocket for the cigarettes she stuffed in there during her rush out of the house. her eyes lingered on karen’s frame as she unlocked the door to ted’s office.</p><p>to an outside eye, karen was the perfect housewife. hair curled and sitting on her shoulders by 7am, lipstick kisses to her husband at 8 when he walked out the door to his comfortable job. she made breakfast for her youngest by 9 and had the house swept and picked up by 10. leaving the rest of her day for groceries until 2pm rolled around and she found her familiar spot in the carpool line.</p><p>but to joyce, she was more. she always had been. joyce’s eyes could see the slight hunch in her shoulders that was a sign she was tired. karen’s cheeks were sunken in as if she was missing meals. joyce recognized that look from the face staring back at her in the mirror in the morning so she knew karen brushed aside breakfast in the morning and threw away half of her dinner while she was doing dishes alone. when karen opened the door, joyce stepped past her and headed to sit against the edge of the desk. karen took one of the spots on the couch in the corner and she tucked her legs underneath her.</p><p>before she could get a word in, joyce started, “any idea as to why you couldn’t talk to me at my son’s funeral, karen?” karen’s eyes didn’t fill with shock, joyce could only find embarrassment in the irises of the woman in front of her. her hands were fiddling with the loose string on her sweater so joyce took the opportunity of silence to light a cigarette. “joyce- don’t- ted will know the smell-” but she’s interrupted when joyce snaps, “no. i want him to know i was here.” she made a show of blowing smoke out of her mouth as karen watched. the eye contact was too much so joyce focused on the art hanging on the wall. the room was tense and they both knew it wasn’t entirely because of joyce’s anger.</p><p>karen opened her mouth but closed it again. “please do tell why you talked to lonnie of all people instead of me. was it to save face, huh? to please your husband in hopes of him finally getting you off for the first time since holly was born?” joyce was pacing at this point. every step into the cushy rug beneath her shoes just made her angrier. she hoped she was trailing dog shit into every fiber.</p><p>“i don’t- i don’t know what to say to you, joyce.” her voice was small and it was dripping with embarrassment. joyce was right, karen did need to save face. it had become second nature to her since she married ted. it was never wrong if it made her look good. at least, that’s what she told herself. but karen knew she had messed up with this move. she knew it at the funeral when she felt joyce’s eyes lingering on her as she touched lonnie’s arm and let ted hold her waist a little too tightly. she knew it now as joyce’s eyes were piercing her skin, making her flush a deep red.</p><p>joyce’s laugh was sharp and biting. “of course you don’t, karen. do you ever?” she knew she was digging the knife in a little too far but she couldn’t stop. part of her was enjoying the look on karen’s face. the look of shame, guilt, and fear. the same emotions she felt when karen leaned over at pta meetings or at church after service to whisper her name in a sour tone, “have you heard about joyce byers…” karen wouldn’t meet joyce’s eyes again. “you really are spineless. just like your parents. i remember a day when you had more bite to you. but maybe i dreamed it” she didn’t indulge in watching karen’s face fall. joyce turned and put her cigarette out in ted’s cigar ashtray. she left the butt sitting there. another sign of her presence in his space.</p><p>karen stood up and went towards the door. “leaving so soon, wheeler?” joyce teased and walked up to karen. ready to face the fight again, she turned to face joyce with her back against the wall. joyce had her trapped as she leaned in by karen’s ear and whispered, “let’s see how spineless you really are'' karen melted against the wall when joyce’s mouth found hers. after a moment's hesitation, karen’s hands found their way into joyce’s hair, gently asking for joyce to open her mouth a little more, to deepen the kiss. joyce’s hands were already at the button of karen’s jeans.</p><p>-</p><p>joyce tugged her shirt over her head. the last of her cigarette was sitting on her bottom lip. karen was curled up on the couch with a lazy smile across her face. “i’ve missed you” the confession was a quiet whisper. joyce’s eyes snapped up to meet karen’s. “don’t lie to me” she put her cigarette out again and left it next to the other. ted would know she was here long enough to smoke two. and to fuck his wife on his desk.</p><p>joyce smiles when she imagines his shock when he comes home the next week to see three awaiting him. it turns out karen wheeler doesn’t lie.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>liz sends me the best prompts so i, obviously, have to write them. thank you, liz for never ending inspiration and to kim for reading every rough draft. and thank you to annie for making it end with hate sex instead of a dramatic storm out. </p><p>milfbyers on twitter and milf-byers on tumblr!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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